Tokyo's Citizens Ordered to Evacuate

(TV voice 1)
He's as tall as a redwood tree,
He weighs 30,000 tons,
And he has the thorns of a hedgehog.
(TV voice 2)
Those are petty details, carrus.
(voice 1)
I want you to understand his rather... special talents...
(TV voice 3)
First of all, he has the strength of 10 monsters.
With one blow he can destroy the Empire State Building
With another, the highest peaks of mount everest would fall.[slow intro](newscaster)
This just in: we have unconfirmed reports that Tokyo is under attack...
By a 50-foot man with a... white face?...
A chicken bucket on his head, uh... carrying an enormous guitar...
According to this report, whenever he plays a note...
The sonic waves cause whole buildings to explode,...
Streets to buckle and split and vehicles to fly about like toys...Chorus:
(different voice, probably buckethead)I come in peaceX3(newscaster)
THE DEFENSE COMMAND HAS ORDERED ALL CITIZENS TO EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!!!...
People from sector 4 please report to the bus depot in sector 3...
Sector 5 proceed in an orderly fashion to sector 6...
Sector 1 & 2 board the bullet trains without delay...WAIT!...
We have visual contact... Look at the size of those shoes!!!...
Who is this giant? where did he come from? where is he going?...
What's he playing? what's he saying? RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!...Chorus[solo 2]Chorus(newscaster)
It seems that this gargantuan figure is only destroying chicken outlets...
The liberated chickens appear to be... FOLLOWING him...
A white wave of feathered friends... eh... isn't this the year of the rooster?...
And here come the children following close behind... huh...
They're all headed toward a giant fortified chicken coop on Mt. Fuji...(possibly buckethead)
ha-ha-ha-ha-hoh X4
[children cheering]
chicken "bawking"(newscaster's voice)Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!![solo 3](Buckethead?)AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I SCREWED UP!(newscaster's voice)ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaah, wipeout!