A Quarter to Nine

If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it, 
  Chattin' with a chimp in chimpanzee, 
  Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah, 
  What a neat achievement it would be! 

  If we could talk to the animals, learn all their languages, 
  I could take an animal degree, 
  I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle, 
  Alligator, guinea pig, and flea! 

  I would converse in polar bear and python, 
  And I would curse in fluent kangaroo, 
  If people ask me "can you speak rhinocerous?" 
  I'd say "of courserous! Can't you?" 

  If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal, 
  Think of the amazing repartee 
  If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals, 
  Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals, 
  And they could talk to me! 

  If I consulted with quadrupeds 
  Think what fun we'd have asking over crocodiles for tea! 
  Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses and sea lions 
  What a lovely place the world would be! 

  If I spoke slang to orangutans 
  The advantages why any fool on earth could plainly see! 
  Discussing Eastern art and dramas 
  With intellectual llamas 
  That's a big step forward you'll agree! 

  I'd learn to speak in antelope and turtle 
  And my Pekinese would be extremely good 
  If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus 
  I'd say "whynotamous" and I would! 

  If I could parlay with pachyderms 
  It's a fairy tale worthy of Hans Anderson and Grimm 
  A man who walks with the animals and talks with the animals 
  Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals and they could talk to him! 

  Let me hear 'em talk 

  I'd study every creature's language 
  So I could speak to all of them on site 
  If friends said "can he talk in crab or maybe pelican" 
  You'd say "I canny can" and you'd be right! 

  And if you just stop and think of it 
  Ain't no doubt of it 
  I'm gonna win a place in history 
  If I could walk with the animals 
  Talk with the animals 
  Grunt, squeak, squawk with the animals 
  And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to me!