The Opera Song

EVERYONE
Yeah!

NADIA
Clear a path

LUCAS
Where's the beer?

MATT
What's everybody doing here?

GUY & GIRL
Excuse us!

MATT
What's going on?

ZACH
Dude, I'm already gone

GIRL
Snooze you lose

LUCAS
What this party needs is booze!

NADIA
Oh look a card for us to sign

MATT
That's mine

NADIA
Sharing is caring

GIRL
Party's great

MATT
No keg

LUCAS
Too late

NADIA
We'll handle this...been preparing!

NADIA & GIRLS
Happy birthday Ivy, you're pretty as a girl can be

NADIA
The boys have gonorrhea, now they burn for you each time they pee

PETER
That's pretty Nadia

KYRA
She'll love that

TANYA
Really talks!

GUY
Zach

GUY
Towels

NADIA
I wrote a song!

MATT
Thanks, but no thanks

NADIA
Sing out strong

RORY
Mary Jane made some brownies, they're dope! Dig in!

MATT
Look I don't mean to be

PETER
Cool, who made these?

GIRL
Tino

GIRL
Guys I need a cup

ZACH
I might have to crash here tonight there's no way I'm going to make it home

NADIA
What the Hell, the beds still warm, cause Ivy never sleeps alone
Same receiver, different givers, throw the dog another bone!

MATT
Time to go!

LUCAS
Hell no!

MATT
Are those her...

NADIA
Panties?

KYRA
Yes indeed!

LUCAS
Guess who's horny?

GUYS & GIRLS
Yeah, agreed

NADIA
Open shop, take all you need

LUCAS
I would wear three

MATT
Look maybe I'm not being clear!

PETER
They're here!

NADIA
Pipe down!

ALAN
Quiet!

NADIA
Get off of me

MATT
What is that?!

ALL
SHUT UP!

ALL
Happy birthday Ivy, you're the ugliest of all
You are the worse and most perverse to roam Cecilia's hallowed halls
Your mother was a hooker and your father was a dick
_____ toaster and your _________
The bread is always _______ and _______
Happy birthday, bitch!
Happy birthday, bitch
Happy birthday, Ivy!
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!

NADIA
Stupid fucking bitch!
?sorry

MATT
Happy birthday

IVY
Matt plan the party?

MATT
Well, some of it

IVY
Thank you

MATT
She's loaded, what happened to her?

TANYA
You told me ?keep her busy'

PETER
You don't wanna play?

JASON
No?what's wrong with you?

PETER
I wish your pinata were that big

JASON
You do know those are pot brownies right?

PETER
Oops!

JASON
Wonderful!

IVY
Hey, you any good with a stick?

JASON
What have you heard?

IVY
Come help me

PETER
Yeah, well...

JASON
Gotta go, talk to you later

PETER
Asshole

IVY
Is he ok?

JASON
He's just fucked up

IVY
Well that makes two of us

MATT
Dance with me

IVY
Ok...next song

MATT
Ok

IVY
Matt, I said next song - I'll find you

MATT
You might not?
Well you know, I was thinking maybe later?

IVY
Matt, I'm talking to ?later' (referring to Jason)

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