Tango: Maureen

JOANNE
The Samples Wont Delay
But The Cable -

MARK
There's Another Way
Say Something - Anything

JOANNE
Test - On, Two Three ...

MARK
Anything But That

JOANNE
This Is Weird

MARK
It's Weird

JOANNE
Very Weird

MARK
Fuckin' Weird

JOANNE
I'm So Mad
That I Don't Know What To Do
Fighting With Microphones
Freezing Down To My Bones
And To Top It All Off
I'm With You

MARK
Feel Like Going Insane?
Got A Fire In Your Brain?
And Your Thinking Of Drinking
Gasoline?

JOANNE
As A Matter Of Fact --

MARK
Honey, I Know This Act
It's Called The 'Tango Maureen'

The Tango Maureen
It's A Dark, Dizzy
Merry-Go-Round
As She Keeps You Dangling

JOANNE
You're Wrong

MARK
Your Heart She Is Mangling

JOANNE
It's Different With Me

MARK
And You Toss And You Turn
'Cause Her Cold Eyes Can Burn
Yet You Yearn And You Churn And Rebound

JOANNE
I Think I Know What You Mean

BOTH
The Tango Maureen

MARK
Has She Ever
Pouted Her Lips
And Called You 'Pookie'

JOANNE
Never

MARK
Have You Ever Doubted A Kiss Or Two?

JOANNE
This Is Spooky
Did You Swoon
When She Walked Through The Door?

MARK
Every Time - So Be Cautious

JOANNE
Did She Moon Over Other Boys--?

MARK
More Than Moon--

JOANNE
I'm Getting Nauseous

MARK
Where'd you learn to tango?

JOANNE
With the French Ambassadors Daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porters, and you?

MARK
With Nanette Hemmelfarb, the rabbis daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Centre

MARK
It's hard to do this backwards

JOANNE
You should try it in heels!

She Cheated

MARK
She Cheated

JOANNE
Maureen Cheated

MARK
Fuckin' Cheated

JOANNE
I'm Defeated
I Should Give Up Right Now

MARK
Gotta Look On The Bright Side
With All Of Your Might

JOANNE
I'd Fall For Her Still Anyhow

BOTH
When Your Dancing Her Dance
You Don't Stand A Chance
Her Grip Of Romance
Makes You Fall

MARK
So You Think, 'Might As Well'

JOANNE
Dance A Tango To Hell

BOTH
'At Least I'll Have Tangoed At All'

The Tango Maureen
Gotta Dance Til Your Diva Is Through
You Pretend To Believe Her
Cause In The End - You Can't Leave Her

But The End It Will Come
Still You Have To Play Dumb
Til You're Glum And You Bum
And Turn Blue

MARK
Why Do We Love When She's Mean?

JOANNE
And She Can Be So Obscene

JOANNE
My Maureen

BOTH
The Tango: Maureen!